I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
