i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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