no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
