Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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