I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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