i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
