Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
