just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
