benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
