i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
