He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
