Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
