Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
