Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
