If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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Randomize