its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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