ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
