it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
