After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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