I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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