I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
