its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
