I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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