Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
