Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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