i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
