Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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