I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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