i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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