So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
