I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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