I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
