I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club š
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
