it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
