I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Houston, we have a squirter
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
