I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
