By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ugly people sure do ruin things
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
