take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
