I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
operation harelip BJ is a go
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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