That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
