so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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