You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
