u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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