i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
