Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
