i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
