I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
