when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
