no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I met the friendliest cop last night
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
