I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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