Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
