Yo dont text me then not text me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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