so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
