Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize