do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
