she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
