i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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