HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
