I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
