we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
