They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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