can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
