I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
