Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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