i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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