and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
