Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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