just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have post one night stand depression
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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