Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
